73 Questions About Me That Help Me Get To Know Myself Better

1. What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Their eyes and their smiles.

2. What's the best gift you've ever received? Scholarships.

3. What's the best gift you could ever give to somebody else? My loyalty.

4. What's your favourite food?

My mother's cooking. 

5. If you could switch life with someone else for a day, who would it be and why? 

Emma Watson. Because she is smart and kind. She is a feminist muse and a proud nerd. She is someone I could really relate to.

6. What is your makeup rule, strong eyes or strong lips? Strong eyes. 

7. What makes you smile the most? 

Every time I get to see my students speaking English with a charming confidence, native speaker's pronunciation and intelligent arguments.

8. If you could describe yourself in some hashtags, what would they be?

#AHeartFullOfTawheedAndKindness

#AHeadFullOfDreams

#APracticingMuslim

#APassionateEnglishTeacher

#AMemoirist

#AnAvidReader

9. Who inspires you the most in life?

Sayyidah Maryam (The Virgin Mary), Sayyidah Khadijah, Sayyidah Aisha, Queen Asiya, Mother Teresa, Lady Diana, Lady Kartini, Yasmin Mogahed, Julie Andrews, Emma Watson, J.K Rowling, Jacinda Arden, Najwa Zebian, Muniba Mazari, Shakira, and Butet Manurung. 

They are all my muses. Some of them taught me about kindness, service, authenticity, confidence, grit, and the power of my voice and my divine femine energy. While some others showed me what's it like to be devoted to God and passionate about education and poetry. And most of them have definitely inspired me to be obsessed with reading and writing.

10. What are the 5 things that you are most grateful for?

My faith in Allah, my peaceful heart, my good health, my education, and all of the true love that I have found.

11. What's your favourite quote? 

"Our prime purpose in life is to help others. So, if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." (Dalai Lama) 

12. If you could have one super power, what would it be? The ability to heal the broken hearts quickly. 

13. How would you define yourself in three words? 

Honest, kind, and loyal.

14. If your life was a song, what would the title be? 

"I did it my way."

15. What is the most precious lesson that you learned the hard way?

That some people are really worth letting go. Harmful evil people really do exist, that's why God created hell and karma. Trauma bond is not love. Codependency is unhealthy. Having an anxious attachment is self-sabotaging. Apart from that, I have come to realise that having personal boundaries is vital and crucial to protect myself and save my life. Don't ever let anybody mistreat you. So, it's okay to say "NO". Dare to be disliked. It's okay to be alone sometimes, as long as you are safe. You are your most precious asset. So, only surround yourself with those people who genuinely love you back. Those who will help you grow to be your best self. Those who want to see you win in life.  

16. What books you read that have positively shaped you? 

"Quran and Its English Translation", "Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed", Emotional First Aid by Guy Winch", "Laskar Pelangi, Sang Pemimpi & Edensor by Andrea Hirata", "Sokola Rimba by Butet Manurung", "The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho", "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma", and "Becoming by Michele Obama".

17. What are the things you can't live without? My Iman and Tawheed in Allah SWT. 

18. What's something that you always have in your bag? A pen and an eyeliner. 

19. What are your favourite chapters in Quran? 

Surah Ar Rahman, Surah Al Mulk, Surah Al A'la, and Surah Yasin.

20. What do you usually do when you can't fall asleep at night?

I do a night prayer. I read Quran or just recite my favourite short verses from Quran. Ayatul Kursi is always my first choice. Salah, Dzikirullah and Quran are the best remedies to fight anxiety, fear and sadness.

21. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? 

Thanking God by saying "Alhamdulillah". And then continue saying; "Indeed, my life is all for Allah." I say these words in order to remind myself about the true purpose of my life in this Dunya, because sometimes I got distracted a lot. I often felt so alone, empty, lost, sad and hopeless somewhere along the line, especially whenever I encountered failure, disappointment, injustice or frustration. But those words of Dzikrullah always help me find a way back to Allah and regain the appetite for continuing my life again. Alhamdulillah. 

22. What is the biggest fear in your life? 

Travelling by plane. I'm just afraid of height, basically. However, this fear won't stop me from travelling to my dream destinations. Allah is always with me, so I will be fine, Inshaa Allah. 

23. Can you do an impression of someone famous? 

Hermione Granger. I'm just her biggest fan. It's really obvious, even though she's just a fictional character. 😂✌ 

24. If your life were a book what would the title be? 

"A Head Full of Dreams and A Heart Full of Kindness"

25. What are your core values in life? 

Tawheed, Honesty, Trustworthiness, The Pursuit of Education, Loyalty, Passion, Compassion, Kindness, and Service.

26. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received? 

"Be the best version of yourself every day. Every day is a gift from God. Every day is a new life. Every day is a clean slate. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Be proud and be grateful for your own unique journey in life. Because everything happens for your own good. Be a blessing. Be a hero, both for yourself and for others, too. Stay authentic. Be the role model that you've always wanted to see in the world. You are your own muse." 

27. What's the best piece of advice you would give to your teenage self? 

"Just keep going, Yenni. Keep building, growing, creating, and shaping your ideal self. Stop doubting yourself! Be more confident. Confidence is power. You're not alone, you always have Allah. You deserve to be successful. You deserve to have the best things in life. You deserve to love and to be loved by the best. You're enough. Believe in yourself. You can do it! You can achieve all of your dreams. Don't you ever give up! Be yourself and don't be afraid of showing your authenticity and voicing your truth." 

28. What would you like to be remembered for? 

My kindness, my service in education, my smiling eyes, my gentle voice, my soft hands, and my warm hugs. 

29. How do you define beauty? 

Kind heart, intelligent brain, and wise soul. 

30. What's your very first job? 

A nanny when I was 12 and an English Teacher starting when I was 18. I used to babysit 2 cute, chubby, and super chatty toddlers in my home before and after school.

I started working quite early due to the severe poverty suffered by my family. Born and grew up in a slum village on the bank of Musi River of Palembang city has forced me to be mentally mature faster. 

Back then in my childhood, I was always sad watching my dad coming home looking fatigue. He worked too hard in his life, yet he still earned too little, not enough to feed the whole family properly. Thus, I've always had a strong motivation to work and help my father earn money since in my childhood. I thought by earning money sooner, I could help my father bring love, peace and happiness into our family. I love my dad and my whole family so much, therefore I decided to work as early as possible. This was how I spent my teenage years later in the slum. Working part time before or after school hours. 

No matter how bitter my childhood and my teenage life in the slum were, to be honest, I don't regret anything. My life as a little slum dweller has taught me so much about life and shaped my personality for my own good. It taught me how to be strong, independent, persistent, reliable and most importantly; it taught me how to be kind and helpful to others, especially to underprivileged and marginalized children living in poverty. I knew how sad it was to be hungry and cold. I knew how painful it was to have no access to clean water. I knew how frustrating it was to not be able to afford toys or decent clothes that other children just took for granted. I knew how tiring it was to struggle for my education. I knew how inconvenient it was to make a lot of sacrifices and work so hard in order to stay in school. Thus, as I grew up, all of those pains and sufferings have always motivated me to -in turn- help those poor children, slum children or street children whom I could find. Deep down, I see the little me in them, I relate so much with their struggles, pains and sufferings, therefore I just want to help and save them to the best of my ability.

31. What is the one ingredient that you put in almost everything you cook? 

Sugar, because I like everything sweet. 

32. What's your spirit animal? 

I see myself in elephants, the gentle giants because they have the biggest heart. 

33. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be? 

I really want to adopt a baby elephant. But anyway, hens and roosters were my very first real pets when I was a kid. I just love chicken farming. 🐥🌹🌳

34. What are your favourite smells? 

The smells of books; old and new. Also, the smells of coffee and bubble gum. 

35. What are your favourite sounds?

The sounds of rain drops hitting the roof, gentle waves, crickets singing in the silent night. Birds chirping. The sound of page turning. The sound of pencil writing on paper. And the sound of keyboard typing. Also, the iconic voice of Emma Watson and Julie Andrews.

36. What's something about you that people might find very surprising?

• How much I love hugging trees and I enjoy planting them. 
• How much I love dancing under the pouring rain.
• How much I love stargazing and noticing the cloudy blue sky. 

37. When was the last time you did something for the first time? Last March 2020, when I made a debut teaching English in some premium online classes. Alhamdulillah, I'm glad that I nailed it, even though I'm not a tech savvy. Gotta do more online teachings during these lockdowns due to the Corona Pandemic.

38. What are the best compliments you've ever received?

• When I got to hear Mr. Bishop, my former boss saying; "I love your personality". That was the sweetest thing ever! 
• When I heard my best friend once said "You have a PhD in kindness."
• When an Instagram friend once told me: Yenni, everything you do is beautiful." I was like awww. 😂❤️
• When my teenage student once told me; "Miss Yenni, if there were a Nobel Prize for the kindest teacher, I'm sure you would win one." 😂✌️❤️
• When each of my biggest fans told me: "Yenni, I love your voice. It's both sexy and calming at the same time. Your voice can definitely melt my heart." I was like "wow... really?" 😂✌

39. What's your biggest regret?

Now I could say "nothing". But looking back, I used to have one or two regrets that tortured my own mind for years. I used to carry shame, guilt, regret, and resentment due to those stupid mistakes. Until later in life I realized that those past mistakes were actually a gift. They taught me some precious lessons that helped me grow to become a better and wiser person over the years. As Rumi once said; "The wound is the place where the light enters." Those past mistakes have shaped me to be kinder, braver, more humble, more empathetic, more compassionate, and more grateful.  After all, I realized that Allah is The Writer of my life story, anyway. So, everything that has happened in my life was for my own good, in order to purify my heart and keep me close to Him. Therefore, I regret nothing. Now, I'm totally clean. I'm free. I don't have any regret, shame, guilt, or resentment anymore. 

40. What is your favourite sport? 

Swimming. However, I tend to get sleepy when swimming, that's why I like to float in water, close my eyes once in a while and pretend like I was in my bed of water, channeling my inner mermaid. 

41. Who was your first celebrity crush? Sheikh Hamdan, The Prince of Dubai. 🤭😅✌️ He was my very first internet boyfriend. 

42. What would the title of your autobiography be? 

An Educated Slum Girl.

43. Who is the famous movie character, real or fictional that you wish to portray in a movie?

Maria Von Trapp from The Sound of Music.

44. What was the most dangerous thing you've ever done in your life?

Paddling my own canoe in the middle of a deep blue sea.

45. Who do you miss the most? 

My Papuan Children in Fakfak, West Papua. I miss them every day.

46. What is your favourite childhood memory?

When I was little, I didn't get any chance to go to preschool or kindergarten. My parents couldn't afford the tuition fee for my early childhood education, therefore I first learned the initial literacy skills from my mom. My mom was my first teacher. We used to spend time outdoor where she taught me how to write alphabet letters by drawing the letter shapes in the dirt using small twig as a pencil. Sometimes I also wrote my words on any fallen leaves we found nearby. Nature was my first classroom.

47. Who is that one person you can talk to just about anything? 

My mom. I have no secret with her.

48. What do you think about mostly when you're alone?

Mostly I spend time to think about preparing my legacy before I die, while also bettering myself to meet Allah, My God, My Creator. Knowing that "every living thing shall taste death eventually" makes me realize that I'm not immortal. Therefore, I should perpetually worship Allah, stay humble, consistently be kind, and use my time wisely in this Dunya. Thus, I must be loyal to my purpose in life of worshiping Allah through prayers, perpetual Dzikrullah, perpetual repentance, kindness, generosity, and service to others in need. I must also leave a legacy that's worth remembering. Something beautiful, useful and beneficial that someday in the future I will be proud of leaving behind in this dunya. Inshaa Allah.

49. What would your legacy be? 

A free English school in Fakfak, West Papua. It's going to be my masterpiece. Inshaa Allah.

50. Is the job you are doing right now, the job you've always wanted to do growing up?

Yes it is. Becoming an English Teacher has always been my dream job and my true calling in life.

51. What do you do when you are home alone?

Let me be brutally honest, when I'm all alone at home, I would let my face go naked without makeup. I dance barefoot to my favourite latin songs in the kitchen. Oftentimes, I didn't shower, however I still manage to just brush my teeth. Then, I like having both of my breakfast and lunch in my bed while reading my books. Such freedom! I know right, oftentimes I write louder than I talk. I love translating my thoughts and feelings into words. Well, I'm just a free thinker at core, a free spirited girl with a gypsy soul.

52. How do you show someone that you love them?

• I would just tell them with my own words. If I feel it, they would hear me say it.
• I would always keep them in my prayers.
• I would always be there for them whenever they need me. I would prioritize them. I will never let them feel alone.
• I will sacrifice a lot for making them happy and keeping them safe.
• I will forgive them a lot and not easily give up on them. 
• I will let them be their truest-selves. I will love them for who they are. Embrace their flaws and scars. I will accept their imperfections. 
• I will help them become the best version of themselves, while also constantly striving to become my own best version for them. I will inspire them to be our best-selves together.

53. How do you show someone that you hate them? 

I would stay away from them as a means of protecting myself from any further hurt, humiliation, disappointment or betrayal. I would also avoid meeting them. I don't like dealing with venomous people, they absolutely don't spark joy in my life. I have no room for manipulative, judgemental, mean, envious, dishonest, rude, abusive, arrogant, greedy, exploitative, selfish and unfaithful people. And I will never give them any second chance to be in my life. I can forgive, but sometimes I just can't forget.

54. What is your favourite colour?

Although I wear the shades of yellow, orange and red way too often, actually my favourite colour is pink. Pink is just my colour because pink makes life look rosy and beautiful.

55. What are your favourite children books to read aloud with kids?

• Miss Rumphius, The Lupine Lady by Barbara Cooney.
• Sulwe by Lupita Nyong'o.
• The Proudest Blue by Ibtihaj Muhammad.
• Mae Among The Stars by Roda Ahmed.
• What Color Is My Hijab? by Hudda Ibrahim.
• The Arabic Quilt by Aya Khalil
• Your Name is A Song by Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow
• Not Quite Snow White by Ashley Franklin

56. What other country you hope to live in? 

I hope to have an opportunity to study and live in Australia and England.

57. What is the one place that you truly wish to visit before you die? 

Mecca for performing Umrah & Hajj Rituals with my whole family.

58. What's your favourite city in your homeland, Indonesia? 

Fakfak, West Papua

59. Where would you go when you want to be alone? 

I would go to my bedroom or to the nearest mosque or to the closest library.

60. What are your favourite places in Jakarta?

I would say;

• Museum di Tengah Kebun (located in Kemang)
• Post Bookstore (located at Pasar Santa)
• Tanah Abang Traditional Textile Market. I just love seeing and touching those colourful fabrics and garments. 

61. What are some skills you keep working on mastering? 

• Arabic and Quran Recitation
• Practising Gratitude, Self-Love, Self-Forgiveness, and Self-Acceptance.
• Inventing My Personal Styles and Iconic Looks. 
• Teaching English to Children.
• Teaching IELTS. 
• Montessori Teaching Methods 
• Typing with 10 fingers.
• Both British and Australian English Accents.
• Cooking and Gardening. 
• Saving and Investing My Money Consistently.
• Feminine Dance Moves and Swimming. 
• Spanish, just because I love dancing to latin music and songs. 
• French, because "pourquoi pas?" 😜✌️

62. If everything were possible, success guaranteed, so you couldn't fail at anything you've decided to do. What would you do then?

I would leave my secure job in Indonesia for studying in Australia and England until PhD by scholarships. I would marry a charming, kind, mature, educated, trustworthy masculine man for love. 😂✌️ I would build a boutique jungle English School in Fakfak, West Papua. And also, I would own a tiny library hotel by the sea. Last but not least, I would publish an honest, raw and unfiltered memoir telling my fans about my life story and personal wisdoms. Inshaa Allah. ✒️🕋❤️

63. What is your favourite answer to the question; "Why are you still single?" or "Why are you not married yet?" 

Well, I would say: "Simply because I'm searching for a true love." True love is something special and sacred, that's why it takes time to discover. 😂😅🤭 But, I'm willing to wait for it, because it's worth it. I believe that inshaa Allah I will find my soulmate eventually, so that I can start a family and give birth to a child or two. Inshaa Allah. 

To be honest, I've been longing to get married all these years because I want to be a mother. ❤❤❤ But, no pressure, because not every woman in this Dunya was destined to get married, some died as a virgin. Well, above all, Allah will reward our Jeehad for protecting our chastity with Jannah. I wish I could tell more girls that getting married is not our prime mission in this life, it's just a bonus, not a necessity. So, don't force it. Instead, our real mission is to worship and love God with our sincerity, patience and consistency. Indeed, if marriage is written in our destiny, it will happen eventually. So, just be patient! 😊❤️🌹

64.What are your favourite movies of all time?

The Sound of Music, Little Women (2020), Mona Lisa Smile, Anna and The King, Stardust, The Greatest Showman, Leap Year, Letters to Juliet, Love Rosie (2014), La La Land, Beauty & The Beast (Emma Watson as Belle), The Shape of Water, Becoming Jane (Jane Austen's Biopic), Magic Beyond Words (JK Rowling's Biopic), Mary Shelley, Sleepy Hollow, Miss Potter (Beatrix Potter's Biopic), Colette, Big Eyes, Olivia Hussey's Mother Teresa, The Help, An Education, Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants 1-2, Eat-Pray-Love, Devil Wears Prada, Harry Potter 1-3, The Hobbit 1-3, The Chronicles of Narnia 1-3, Nanny McPhee 1-2, Mary Poppins (1964), Flipped, Nim's Island (2008), Heidi (2015), The Secret Garden (2020), Black Swan, Cruella (2021), Alice in Wonderland (2010), Alice Through The Looking Glass, The Nutcracker & the Four Realms, Adele Blanc-Sec, The King's Daughter, Lily James' Cinderella, Monte Carlo, The Duchess, Elizabeth (1998), Elizabeth The Golden Age, The Other Boleyn Girl, Pride & Prejudice, Agora, Kingdom of Heaven, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, The Mummy (1999), Enola Holmes 1-2, The Young Victoria, Shakespeare in Love, Jodha Akbar (2008), Ada Apa Dengan Cinta 1-2, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 1-2, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 1, James Cameron's Avatar (2009), Te Ata, The New World (Pocahontas), Before Sunset, Before Sunrise, The Holiday, and Serendipity.

65. What movies made you cry?

Slumdog Millionaire, Children of Heaven (Iranian Movie), Hayat (Iranian Movie), Little Miss Sunshine, Lion (Saroo Brierly's Story), Maudie, Goodbye Christopher Robin, A Street Cat Named Bob, Me Before You, Sanam Teri Kasam, Kartini (2017), The Words, The Sleeping Dictionary, Seven Years in Tibet, Dumbo (By Tim Burton), Crimson Peak, Crazy Rich Asians, A Cinderella Story (Hillary Duff), Drew Barrymore's Ever After, Dear John, The Notebook, Notting Hill, Amira and Sam, UP, Tangled, The Princess & The Frog, Brave (Merida), Big Hero 6, Coraline, My Neighbour Totoro, and Monster House.

66. What movies made you laugh the loudest?

Penelope, Peter Rabbit 1-2, Paddington 1-2, Jack The Giant Slayer, Legally Blonde 1-2, The Princess Diaries 1-2, My Life in Ruins (2009), Pirates of Caribbean 1-5, Night at The Museum 1, Mr. Beans' Holiday, Easy A, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, 27 Dresses, Confessions of A Shopaholic, Mamma Mia, Camila Cabello's Cinderella, Enchanted, The BFG, Bride Wars, You Again, How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, Something Borrowed, Sex & The City 1-2, Aquamarine, Midnight in Paris, Sweet Home Alabama, Miss Congeniality (2000), Under The Tuscan Sun, When in Rome, Moana, Shrek 1-2, The Lorax, Monsters University, and The Grand Budapest Hotel.

67.What is your biggest accomplishment that you are most proud of achieving?

Being selected as one of the voluntary teachers to teach Papuan Children in Fakfak, West Papua for one year. I was one of the lucky few who was granted the privilege of meeting these beautiful children. It was the best year in my life, even to this date. What a blessing. Alhamdulillah. 🤗❤️🌹

68. What makes you feel uneasy, nervous or anxious? 

Dealing with haters, talking to any intimidating strangers or mean people or zalim people or bullies. As I grow older, I become more aware, more cautious, more careful and more selective before letting others in. I should really protect my energy and prioritize my safety. I'm no longer attracted to the wrong people. My past trauma has given me a PhD in psychology, so it helps me read through people and help me sense their true intentions before letting them interact with me further. I also don't feel comfortable being around people who see me as their competition, so I will always run away from them. People with envy and jealousy are harmful, and I just want to avoid them at all cost. Furthermore, I realize that people who like to steal my ideas are dangerous, as well. Therefore, I only want to be with honest, real, genuine, trustworthy, authentic, humble, responsible, kind, supportive, compassionate and gentle people. No more giving a second chance or trying to fix the villains or the narcissists. No more explaining or trying to be understood by the antagonists. I have learned my past lessons and it helps me to stay safe, find peace, thrive and become my best version every day. Alhamdulillah. 

69. What are your favourite birthday gifts?

Flowers. I actually prefer flowers to books as presents on my birthday. My favourite flowers are roses of any colour and also sunflowers.

70. When do you feel the happiest?

Firstly, whenever I am on a sujood position, kissing my sajdah carpet, glorifying my Allah, my only God, doing a prostration in my Salah. Because sujood is when I can feel that Allah hugs me and calms my heart. 

Secondly, whenever I'm with someone I love who loves me back. I come to realize that love can only make us happy when it is mutual and reciprocal.

71. What's the one foreign language that you hope to be fluent in?

Besides English, I hope to be fluent in Arabic. It's my favourite language in the entire world. Just as much as I'm in love with English, I also have the same sentiment towards Arabic. I just think that everything sounds more beautiful both in English and Arabic, that's why I fall in love with these 2 languages over and over again. Plus Arabic is the language of The Holy Quran, The Book that compiles love letters from God. I will be so proud of myself if I can be fluent in Arabic, Inshaa Allah.

72. What is your favourite lyrics?

I used to listen to these songs on repeat; "A Million Dreams" (a soundtrack from The Greatest Showman), "It's Amazing" (a song by Jem), and also "Hall of Fame" ( a song by The Script). These 3 songs resonate with me so much, because they talk about dreamers. And I'm just a head full of dreams.

73. What are your ultimate goals in 2021?

Inshaa Allah; getting closer and closer to Allah and Muhammad Rasulullah. Continuing my Master's degree study. Thriving in my teaching career. Building a boutique house for my family in Palembang, my hometown, with my own money. And also, performing umrah with my mommy and daddy in Ramadhan.

Alhamdulillah, I think now I've got much clearer thoughts on what I really want in life.

My Vision on Passion: My Future Legacy For My Children in Fakfak, West Papua

It always breaks my heart to its very core, 

whenever I remember that I've left my children this far, this long. 

It's been months since the last time I saw them in Fakfak, West Papua. 

I've always been missing them, their warm hugs, their noisy laughter, and of course their innocent, genuine unconditional love.

I remember. 

I made a promise to them at the farewell. 

Saying that I would come back again for them, to that corner of Papua someday in the future.

Inshaa Allah...

God knows I mean it.

And, when I come back to them, years later in the future. Inshaa Allah, this time around, I hope I will be able to provide them with better knowledge, better teaching methods, and of course better intellectual and financial supports, as well. 

I aim to build a high quality "English School" for my Papuan children living in Fakfak, West Papua, someday in the future. Because I dream of seeing all of my Papuan kids posses the ability to speak English fluently. 

I want them to be well armed to win the battle of this globalized world. 

I want them to have the equal opportunity to reach the best things life can offer. 

I want them to go far in life with their dreams, travel the world, be seen, be heard, be successful, so in turn they will have whatever it takes to build their own villages and their homeland in the future.

For these reasons, I'm now upgrading my English Teaching skills in Jakarta. 

I learn from the experts and take chances to practice what I've learned, whenever possible. 

I teach any level of English programs assigned to me. 

Sometimes I teach children, other times I teach professionals in business classes. Even though, I prefer teaching children, obviously.

I want to gain any kind of English teaching experiences. 

I'm learning by doing. 

I'm learning by teaching. 

I'm growing. 

Yes, I'm preparing myself for becoming a better English Teacher for my children in Fakfak, West Papua in the future. 

I also aim to obtain a Master's Degree in English Teaching, TESOL. 

I want to be An Expert of English Teaching in the future for my Papuan children. 

I pray may Allah SWT give His Blessings to me so that I can reach this dream. 

And, as for now, 

I just need to keep striving. 

Keep working hard. 

Keep praying. 

Until one day, Inshaa Allah, my dream really does come true. I can't wait to finally be able to build my own "English School" for all of my children in Fakfak, my second home. I hope it will happen soon.

Aamiin ya Allah, Ya Robbal 'Alamiin...

Sampai ketemu lagi anak-anakku,

Inshaa Allah.

Semoga Tuhan meridhoi...

Sekarang, izinkan Mama Ibu untuk belajar, kerja, dan bersiap-siap dulu ya...

I will always love you.

#MyBiggestDreamInLife

#MyFutureCareerGoal

#CreatingMyFutureLegacy

The Dilemma; It's Almost June, It's Almost Goodbye

I’m gonna miss the sound of your laughter and all of your stories, and the way you make me fall in love with you, everyday... 

*** 

“Ibu, Sitria bilang katong pu kepala bokar O,” (Ibu Sitria bilang kalau kepala saya besar). Keluh Aldy mengadu kepada ku. Sitria adalah kakak perempuan Aldy yang sudah SMP. Kalau lagi kesal dengan ulah Aldy, Sitria akan menumpahkan kemarahannya dengan menjuluki Aldy sebagai “Si Kepala Besar”. 

Mendengar pengaduan ini, tawaku hampir saja meledak. Tapi kutahan sekuat tenaga, karena kulihat Aldy memang benar-benar menunjukkan wajah sedih akibat julukan itu. 

Kudekati dia, lalu aku duduk agar bisa menyamai tinggi tubuhnya. Sambil memegang kedua tangannya yang gempal, ku tatap matanya, lalu kukatakan; “Aldy, tara papa sudah Sitria bilang begitu. Tara usah marah e... Ibu pu kepala juga bokar O. Kepala bokar itu malah bagus O. Otak bokar jadi kepala bokar. Orang yang pu otak bokar itu pintar, makanya dong pu kepala bokar, macam Aldy ini. Nah, Aldy pu otak bokar, makanya Aldy pintar toh...makanya Aldy cepat belajar. Jadi, ko tara usah sedih e kalau Sitria bilang begitu. Ko ingat saja kalau kau itu anak pintar e...” (Aldy, tidak apa-apa Sitria bilang begitu. Tidak usah marah ya... Kepala Ibu juga besar kok. Kepala besar itu malah bagus. Otak besar jadi kepala besar. Orang yang mempunyai otak besar itu pintar, makanya kepalanya besar pula, seperti Aldy ini. Nah, otak Aldy besar, makanya Aldy pintar toh...makanya Aldy cepat belajar. Jadi, kamu tidak usah sedih ya kalau Sitria bilang begitu. Kamu ingat saja kalau kamu itu anak pintar ya.) Jelasku panjang lebar. Mendengar itu, Aldy tersenyum sambil menunjukkan gigi putihnya yang rapi. I guess he got the point. 

Tak lama, si Anak pintar satu ini, kembali memulai lagi celotehnya. 

“Ibu, ko tara usah pulang di Jawa sudah e. Ibu tinggal di sini saja. Nanti, katong jadi tentara, katong dapat uang, katong bikin Ibu pu rumah di sini. Katong bikin Ibu pu rumah tingkat, dengan kamar tingkat. Katong bikin Ibu pu rumah besar O. Katong bikin Ibu pu rumah di air garam sebelah sana, baku dekat dengan masjid...” (Ibu, kamu jangan pulang ke Jawa ya. Ibu tinggal di sini saja. Nanti, saya jadi tentara, lalu saya punya uang. Kalau sudah punya uang, saya akan bangun sebuah rumah untuk Ibu. Rumah bertingkat dengan kamar yang bertingkat juga. Rumahnya besar. Saya bangun rumah untuk Ibu di laut sebelah sana, dekat dengan masjid). Jelas Aldy sambil menunjuk ke arah masjid yang terlihat kecil jauh di sana. 

Mataku terpaku melihat ke arah yang ditunjuk Aldy dengan jari telunjuk kecilnya itu. Masjid kecil bercat putih di laut sebelah sana mengingatkanku akan hari-hari ajaib yang telah kuhabiskan bersama anak-anakku selama hampir satu tahun ini. Pikiranku menerawang... 

Dan kali ini tak ada kata yang bisa kuucapkan untuknya. 

I’m speechless. 

How could he say that? Where did he get such idea? 

How could this little baby boy come up with something so big, as big as that? 

He wants to build a house to shelter me, to make me stay, to be there with him. 

Words failed. 

Belakangan ini Aldy semakin manis kepadaku. He treats me so nicely. Dengan kaki pendek balitanya, dia sering berjalan kaki, sendiri mendaki bukit untuk menjemputku di sekolah. Sepulang dari PAUD, setelah meminta izin kepada mamanya, anak laki-laki berumur 4 tahun ini menempuh jarak sejauh ratusan meter hanya untuk menemuiku di sekolah. Dia berjalan dari pangkal kampung (rumahnya) hingga ujung kampung. Aku sering kaget mendapatinya di sekolahku tanpa mamanya. Untungnya di sepanjang jalan menuju sekolah ada banyak rumah dan semua warga kampung telah mengenal bocah kecil yang hobi bicara ini. Makanya dia aman saja menempuh perjalanan menuju sekolahku itu. Kondisi ini pula yang menyebabkan mamanya tidak pernah melarang Aldy untuk menjemputku pulang sekolah. 

Di akhir-akhir masa tugasku di sini, Aldy semakin intens mengikutiku kemana pun aku pergi. Dia menjadi ekor permanenku. Mamanya bilang dia ingin menghabiskan waktu lebih banyak bersamaku sebelum aku pulang ke Jawa. Bahkan, di suatu pagi, dia pernah berkata kepadaku; “Ibu, abis Ibu su pulang di Jawa. Kalau katong su besar, katong pi di Jawa O, susul Ibu. Katong cari Ibu di Jawa sana.” (Ibu, kalau Ibu sudah pulang ke Jawa dan saya sudah besar, saya akan menyusul Ibu, mencari Ibu di Jawa sana). Sebuah pernyataan yang membuat hatiku ngilu mendengarnya.

All these final days, “this little baby boy” consistently tries to convince me that I’m still so much “wanted” and “needed” here. 

I feel so overwhelmed... 

I’m so confused. 

What should I say, what should I do?

Menjelajahi Indonesia dengan Perahu Kertas

Kali ini, aku mengajak anak-anakku membuat perahu kertas. Perahu kertas warna-warni lengkap dengan benderanya. Namun bukan untuk dilarung ke laut. Sebab, aku tahu perahu kertas mereka tidak akan survive lama, bahkan tidak dalam hitungan menit, jika dilarung ke laut. Terpaan ombak laut teluk, di musim barat ini akan menelan karya ringkih mereka itu, sebelum sempat berlabuh ke mana-mana. Bahkan, sebelum mereka puas menikmati perahu kertas itu mengapung, kuyakin air laut sudah keburu menelannya, dalam sekejap saja. Padahal, untuk memproduksi perahu kertas itu, mereka telah menghabiskan waktu satu jam pelajaran. Itulah mengapa kukatakan pada anak-anakku, bahwa tidak ada prosesi pelarungan perahu kertas, setidaknya untuk kali ini. 

Aku tidak ingin perahu kertas ini hanya menjadi mainan semata. Lebih dari itu, dengan kapasitas imajinasi anak-anakku yang berlimpah, aku 

ingin mereka melampaui tembok sekolah kami. Melampaui kampung kami, keluar dari perangkap hutan ini. Aku ingin mengajak mereka keluar, jauh dari kungkungan keterbatasan dan ketertinggalan ini. Pergi jauh, bertualang, mengarungi lautan luas, menjelajahi Indonesia, untuk kemudian menuju kota impian mereka. Dan, perahu kertas itulah yang akan berlayar bersama mereka menuju ke sana. Perahu kertas itu akan membawa mereka menjelajahi Indonesia, menemukan kota impian mereka, di atas peta. Untuk kesekian kalinya kuajari anak-anakku untuk bermimpi. Tapi kali ini, bermimpi sambil belajar peta Indonesia, sebuah pelajaran yang nampak membosankan bagi mereka sebelumnya. 

“Nak, ko liat ini e. Ini ibu pu kota kelahiran, ibu lahir di sini O. Dia pu nama kota Palembang. Ko su tau toh ibu lahir di kota ini. Ibu su pernah bilang toh. Nah, sekarang ibu tanya, Palembang itu, ibu kota dari provinsi apa?” Tanyaku sambil menunjuk ke satu titik di peta Indonesia. Anak-anakku mendengarkan sambil memperhatikan peta yang terhampar di lantai. Kami semua duduk melingkar, lesehan. 

“Sumatera Selatan, Ibu.” Jawab Mawada 

“Wah, pintar e. Mawada benar. Hebat Mawada su tau e.” Pujiku pada Mawada sambil mengacungkan kedua jempol. Mawada tersenyum malu. 

“Nah, sekarang, kamong semua dengar ibu e. Ibu mau cerita, tentang pengalaman ibu menjelajahi kota-kota impian ibu. Kota impian ibu yang pertama adalah Jakarta. Jadi, waktu ibu kecil, masih SD macam kamong semua ini toh, Ibu tinggal di kota Palembang. Baru, ibu suka nonton TV. Ibu liat di siaran TV tentang kota Jakarta. Ibu liat kota Jakarta itu besar e, banyak gedung tinggi, banyak sekolah bagus-bagus. Baru, ibu bilang ke ibu pu mama, kalau nanti ibu su besar, ibu mau kuliah di Jakarta O, biar jadi sarjana. Ibu pu mama bilang, bisa saja ibu pi kuliah di Jakarta, asal ibu jadi anak yang pintar. Kalau pintar, nanti dapat beasiswa, bisa kuliah gratis di Jakarta. Jadi, sejak itu, ibu belajar baik-baik walaupun ibu masih SD. Abis itu, ibu berdoa pada Tuhan biar Tuhan tolong ibu untuk bisa pi kuliah di Jakarta. Kamong tahu Jakarta itu letaknya di Pulau apa, Nak?” 

“Jawa...” Jawab anak-anakku serentak. 

“Betul sekali. Baru, mana dia pulau Jawa, pulau tempat Ibu mau kuliah itu?” tanyaku lagi. 

Anak-anakku berebut mencari Pulau Jawa di peta. Hingga tak seberapa lama mereka menemukannya. Lalu kulanjutkan ceritaku. 

“Nah, ternyata, setelah ibu besar, ibu benar-benar pi Jawa. Ibu pi kuliah di Jakarta O. Alhamdulillah, karena ibu rajin belajar, rajin sekolah, dan rajin berdoa, jadi ibu dapat beasiswa untuk kuliah di Jakarta. Jadi, dengan beasiswa itu, ibu pu biaya kuliah dibayar oleh pemerintah. Ibu tidak usah bayar sendiri. Ibu pu Mama sama ibu pu Bapa senang sekali. Jadi, dong dua (mereka berdua) kasih ijin ibu buat pi Jawa. Baru, habis itu, dari Palembang, ibu langsung pindah ke Jawa.” Jelasku kepada anak-anakku sambil menggerakkan perahu kertasku di atas peta. Kupindahkan dia dari titik kota Palembang di Pulau Sumatera, menuju titik Jakarta di Pulau Jawa. 

“Jauh juga e, Ibu. Ibu su pi di dua pulau besar O,” Fasril berkomentar. 

“Iyo, itu sudah toh. Tapi itu belum jauh, Nak. Masih ada yang lebih jauh lai. Baru, setelah ibu jadi Sarjana di Jawa. Ibu bercita-cita mau jadi guru di Papua. Jadi, kota impian ibu yang kedua adalah kota di Papua. Dan, Alhamdulillah, Tuhan kasih ijin ibu untuk ke Papua. Jadi, dari Jawa, ibu pindah ke Fakfak, di Papua ini toh. Sampe akhirnya ibu ketemu kamong semua ini toh. Ibu pu anak-anak sayang ini e...” 

Kamong liat toh, ibu su pi jauh saja, dari Sumatera ke Jawa, dari Jawa pi sampeee di Papua...,” Jelasku yang disambut dengan senyum mereka. Anak-anakku memandang takjub ketika kupindahkan perahu kertasku dari titik Jakarta ke salah satu titik di Papua, kota Fakfak, sebuah titik yang sangat jauh dari Jakarta. 

“Nah, ko su liat toh, ibu su bisa pi di ibu pu kota-kota impian. Kota-kota impian ibu itu jauh dari ibu pu rumah di Palembang toh. Tapi ibu su bisa sampai. Bahkan ibu yang berasal dari Palembang ini, bisa pi di Papua, ketemu kamong semua. Jadi, kalo ibu bisa pi di Papua, berarti kamong juga bisa sampai di Sumatera, di ibu pu rumah O. Dan yang paling penting, kalo ibu bisa sekolah di Jawa, berarti kamong semua juga bisa sekolah di Jawa. Mau sekolah di Jawa, Nak?” 

“Mau...” jawab mereka serentak. 

“Makanya, kamong harus belajar baik-baik e, rajin sekolah, dan rajin berdoa sama Tuhan. Tuhan pasti dengar doa-doa ibu pu anak-anak baik ini O.” 

“Nah, sekarang, angkat ko pu perahu kertas masing-masing. Kemudian, bawa dia pi berlayar ke ko pu kota-kota impian.” 

“Ko bayangkan, ko ada di dalam perahu kertas itu toh. Baru kemudian, ko dayung dia sampe keliling Indonesia. Cari ko pu kota impian sendiri, Nak. Ko pu kota impian itu tidak harus di Pulau Jawa atau Sumatera, Nak. Ko bisa pi di Pulau Sulawesi, Pulau Kalimantan, bahkan di Papua juga boleh. Papua itu luas Nak, ko liat toh dia pu gambar di peta saja besar, apa lagi aslinya."

“Ayo sekarang cari ko pu kota-kota impian!” perintahku kemudian. 

Lalu, anak-anakku berebut menjalankan perahu kertas mereka yang sudah diberi nama masing-masing itu. Mereka bersemangat melayarkan perahu kertas mereka di atas sebidang peta usang berdebu itu. Anak-anakku begitu antusias menjelajahi seantero peta. Sepertinya, mereka benar-benar membayangkan bahwa mereka sedang berada di dalam perahu kertas mereka masing-masing. Mereka menghayati skenario bahwa mereka sedang benar-benar mendayung perahu kertas itu, menjelajahi Indonesia untuk menemukan kota impian mereka. Persis, seperti yang telah aku instruksikan sebelumnya. 

Maka tak mengherankan, apabila kemudian dapat kutangkap raut wajah bahagia dan bangga mereka, manakala berhasil melabuhkan perahu kertas mereka di satu titik yang kami sebut sebagai “kota impian” itu. Sejenak aku merinding melihat semangat mereka menuju ke tempat impian mereka masing-masing. Hari itu, semua anakku telah menemukan kota impian mereka. Bahkan banyak dari mereka yang memiliki lebih dari satu kota impian. 

“Ibu, katong mau pi di Makassar dan Jakarta”, kata Fasril. 

“Katong mau pi di Surabaya dan Palembang”, Seru Sarkia. 

“Katong mau pi di Banda Aceh dan Medan”, Teriak Asmin. 

Itulah jawaban-jawaban penuh percaya diri dari anak-anakku ketika kutanya; “Nak, ko pi mana?” (Nak, kamu mau pergi ke mana?) 

Memang, hari ini kota-kota itu baru bisa mereka jangkau di atas peta saja. Tapi kelak, kuyakin Tuhan akan mengantar anak-anakku ke kota-kota impian mereka masing-masing. Seperti Tuhan yang telah mengantarku ke sini, kepada mereka. Aku percaya... 

Dan, tak terasa anak-anakku sedikit demi sedikit sudah hapal wajah peta Indonesia sekarang. Tanpa mereka sadari, mereka sudah belajar menghapal peta Indonesia, pelajaran yang selama ini terasa membosankan bagi mereka. Kali ini, perahu-perahu kertas warna-warni itu, benar-benar telah membawa anak-anakku menjelajahi Indonesia dengan penuh semangat. Aku tak pernah menyangka, bahkan sebuah perahu kertas pun bisa sangat berjasa. 

-Yenni Triani- Pengajar Muda VIII Kab. Fakfak, Papua Barat (When Paper Boats Taking My Kids To Their Dream Cities)

Mimpi Seorang Anak Pemecah Batu

Sore itu, sepulang sekolah, tanpa berganti baju terlebih dahulu, kuputuskan untuk menghabiskan waktu bersama Aldy. Aldy, anak PAUD-ku yang baru berusia 4 tahun, adalah teman mendayungku di beberapa sore terakhir ini. Kujemput dia dan dia segera lompat ke dalam perahu. Aldy always acts as a fearless kid, dia selalu begitu. Masih kuingat di bulan pertama aku di sini, aku sempat membawanya ke puskesmas saat kepalanya bocor membentur batu. Saat itu, aku panik bukan main melihat luka menganga di kepalanya. Segera kularikan dia ke puskesmas di kampung Degen, kampung seberang laut.

Melihat luka Aldy yang cukup parah, dokter memutuskan untuk menjahitnya. Aku ngilu menyaksikan proses jahit-menjahit ini, tapi Si Kecil Aldy malah terbaring tenang sambil mengunyah gula-gula yang aku berikan padanya. Dia tidak menangis, sama sekali. Bahkan, tak lama kemudian dia tertidur lelap, sementara dokter sibuk menjahit luka di kepalanya. Ya, itulah Aldy, dia hanya menangis ketika lapar. 

Dan sekarang, aku dan dia berada di perahu yang sama, kita berdayung berkeliling kampung. Aldy looks so happy. 

“Aldy, ko ikut ibu pi Jawa sudah. Ko mau toh?” (Aldy, kamu ikut Ibu pergi ke Jawa ya. Kamu mau kan?) 

“Iyo Ibu, katong mau. Tapi, ibu kasih kembali katong di Offie lai O. Kalo Ibu tara kasih katong pulang, katong pi toki batu. Katong dapat uang, katong pulang di Offie sendiri O.” (Iya Ibu,saya mau. Tapi, nanti ibu antar saya pulang ke kampung Offie lagi ya. Kalau Ibu tidak antar saya pulang, nanti saya pergi memecah batu. (Dari hasil memecah batu) nanti saya punya uang, terus saya bisa pulang sendiri ke kampung Offie, deh.) 

Toki batu atau memecah batu adalah pekerjaan musiman yang sering dilakoni oleh anak-anakku ketika ada proyek pembangunan jalan di kampung. Sebenarnya, ini seharusnya menjadi pekerjaan para orangtua mereka saja. Tetapi karena anak-anakku adalah anak-anak kuat, mandiri, dan senang bekerja membantu orangtua mereka, jadi mereka turut serta melakoni pekerjaan ini. Hampir semua anak, bahkan Aldy yang baru berumur 4 tahun pun ikut terlibat dalam hiruk pikuk memecah batu ini, tanpa paksaan. Anak-anakku menyukai pekerjaan ini, mereka menganggapnya sebagai sesuatu yang menyenangkan layaknya permainan, dan permainan satu ini bahkan lebih menyenangkan karena menghasilkan uang. Dan Aldy sudah menyaksikan sendiri rupiah-rupiah yang kakak dan orangtuanya kumpulkan dari upah memecah batu. 

Percakapan dengan Aldy di sore itu begitu berkesan bagiku. Aku masih tak percaya, anakku yang baru berusia 4 tahun sudah paham sebuah konsep yang begitu dewasa; bahwa untuk menghasilkan uang dia harus bekerja, meski harus memecah batu. 

“Ko mau toki batu di Jawa buat dapat uang, Nak? Tara bisa mo. Orang Jawa tara toki batu, Nak. Dorang cari uang itu, jadi dokter, polisi, guru, tentara. Dorang sekolah baik-baik, jadi dorang mudah dapat uang. Aldy harus sekolah baik-baik e, jadi mudah dapat uang, tara usah toki batu O.” (Kamu mau memecah batu di Jawa untuk dapat uang, Nak? Tidak bisa lah. Orang Jawa tidak memecah batu, Nak. Mereka di Jawa cari uang dengan menjadi dokter, polisi, guru, tentara. Mereka sekolah dengan baik, jadi mudah mendapatkan uang. Jadi, Aldy harus sekolah baik-baik ya, biar nanti mudah menghasilkan uang, tidak perlu memecah batu”. 

“Iyo, Ibu, nanti katong jadi tentara sudah. Katong toki batu, katong dapat uang, katong jadi tentara”. (Iya, Ibu, nanti saya jadi tentara saja. Saya memecah batu, nanti saya dapat uang, saya jadi tentara). 

Aldy, Aldy...bahkan dia sudah tahu bahwa untuk mewujudkan cita-citanya menjadi tentara dia butuh biaya. Dan untuk membayar biaya menjadi tentara tersebut dia harus mencari uang. Dan memecah batu adalah satu-satunya profesi yang dia tahu untuk mencari uang saat ini.

Sore itu, Aldy kembali mengingatkan ku akan kerasnya hidup yang dijalani oleh anak-anakku di kampung ini, bahkan untuk mewujudkan cita-cita mereka. Belatarbelakang dari keluarga petani pala, yang seringkali memecah batu untuk makan, membuat mereka sadar betul bahwa hidup itu butuh perjuangan. Tidak ada yang instan. 

Tetapi aku yakin sekali bahwa kerasnya hidup tidak akan pernah bisa mengalahkan semangat mereka untuk berani bercita-cita dan menggapainya. Buktinya, bahkan Aldy kecilku pun sudah siap untuk bekerja keras demi mewujudkan cita-citanya, meski harus memecah batu... 

Aku percaya mimpi anak-anakku lebih keras dari batu manapun. Tidak akan ada yang bisa memecah mimpi dari anak-anak pemecah batu. Batu saja pecah, apalagi rintangan lainnya. 

Yenni Triani-Pengajar Muda Fakfak- 

(When I Believe Aldy’s Dream is Harder Than Any Rock).

Moment To Remember: Being Introduced To Mr. Vice President of Indonesia

It was in his palace, in lovely June, I was invited to meet this humble Indonesian prominent leader, Mr. Budiono, The Vice President of Indonesia.

I was not alone when presented in front of him, after a long queue, as I accidentally reunited with my former thesis advisor; Mr. Anies Baswedan. Another humble national leader who was -out of the blue- coming to personally introduce me to Mr. Budiono. I didn't expect to see him that afternoon. I didn't even know that Pak Anies was also scheduled to be there at the palace, at precisely the same time as me. What a coincidence! He has always been a celebrity, surrounded by his fans everywhere he went, so I didn't expect he would notice me.

Standing next to me, Pak Anies told Pak Budiono: "Pak Budi, this is Yenni. She is one of my best students in Paramadina and she will serve as a voluntary teacher in Papua. She speaks excellent English, even though she's never been to any English speaking country yet".

I was so surprised that he had time for making me feel so seen and special in front of Pak Budi. I felt deeply honoured. I was even blushing knowing that he could still recognize me in a room full of competitive young achievers. This very moment definitely became my favourite moment with Mr. Anies Baswedan by far. To me, Pak Anies has always been a mentor, a teacher, and someone I admire and respect greatly. Even my father is also one of his biggest fans. So, obviously, he's very special to our family.

Apart from that, Pak Budi was very warm and kind, as well, he treated me like his daughter. So, I felt so lucky. Alhamdulillah. 

I still couldn't believe that Pak Anies would give such a kind and sweet introduction about me in front of a top leader like Mr. Budiono. It was like a dream. But, dreams do come true, anyway. What a sweet surprise. Alhamdulillah.

Well, I do hope that in the near future I will have an opportunity to study and live in one of the English speaking countries, just like both Pak Anies and Pak Budi who have a PhD from The US. And recently, I just found out that Pak Budi even had a Master’s degree from Monash University, Australia, which is another coincidence, because I've always wanted to continue my master's degree there, as well. And I think I'm going there soon, Inshaa Allah. Australia will be a perfect destination for me to study a Master of TESOL, Inshaa Allah. Well, actually Australia and England have been my dream destinations since childhood. My plan is to go to Australia first, and later; England,  Inshaa Allah. 

It's so ironic knowing that I've been learning English my whole life since childhood. And I've been teaching it since I was 18. But, haven't got any chance to visit any native English speaking country yet. And I'm not even joking. 😂🤭📖✒️🌹So, Inshaa Allah, I'm coming to Australia soon, it will be my first time abroad.