Now, it’s been exactly two years we haven’t seen each other. It feels like ages for me.
I hope you would never forget me during my absence. Even if maybe somebody else has taken my place in your life by now. I hope I would still be the one you choose even if you’ve found someone better. I hope I would still be your favorite person, as you’re all still mine.
I hope you would still remember the way you used to love me. How your little hands loved to hold mine so tight and firm. How you loved to sniff my perfume, because it smells like bubble gum, your favourite fragrance. How you loved to hide in my arms and sleep on my lap, leaving drool stains on my dress. How you loved to kiss my left cheek with your runny nose, leaving snot stains on my face. Because I still remember each of those things you used to do with me. I liked it so much when you showed me that you’ve never been bored with me, not even once, though you’ve spent all your “everyday” with me.
When I first saw you back in 2014, I never planned to leave you. I found home in you. So, I decided to abandon the outside world, and ignored the future. I wanted to focus my whole life on you, because I’ve fallen in love with you that deep. I gave you my all. I forgot that my time with you was only 1 year. So, when my teaching contract was over in 2015, I left with nothing. I didn’t have any plan. I was so confused about “my life after you”, what I was supposed to do with it. The only thing I knew was that I had to come back to you someday. So then, I planned to make a “future-epic-comeback” for you. I promised you that when I see you again someday in the future, Inshaa Allah I will have become an expert in the field of English Teaching. I will have gained a super sufficient knowledge and skills to teach you in a best possible way. I will have obtained some high and fancy teaching credentials, and earned a position of a successful leading lady, so I could build you an English School there in Papua.
But darling, maybe you’ll have to wait a little bit longer for me to accomplish these dreams. I once thought that my journey back to you would be an easy trip home. Since my map and compass only pointed straight back at you, so that I thought I would never get lost along the way. I thought everything would run smoothly, exactly as I’ve planned. Little did I know that the world didn’t work that way. There’s a price to pay for any dream. Sometimes, there are many pains you have to endure just to survive and guard that dream. This is a cruel life, after all… there are many bad people out here with envy, hatred, greed, and manipulative minds trying to steal or break your dreams. That’s why I have to struggle this hard to protect all of my dreams. I believe one day Inshaa Allah I will accomplish those dreams. I’ll never give up on you, guys. I’ll never give up on my dreams. Please don’t you give up on me, either. I shall return to you someday, Inshaa Allah. I’ll make you proud…
Please have patience with me, love...
Because great things do take time…
Love you as always,
Mama Ibu
